Hell Hath No Fury
by MinervaDeannaBond
Summary: Hell hath no fury like a Gryffindor lioness scorned! This story continues McGonagall and Umbridge's argument in "Order of the Phoenix", with Minerva coming out on top! Enjoy!


Hey y'all! This was one of my first Harry Potter fanfics, written back in December 2005. In this story, I pick up where McGonagall and Umbridge's argument leaves off in "Order of the Phoenix" - and guess who wins in the end? Just further proof that Minerva McGonagall is the most kickass teacher at Hogwarts! Enjoy!

This story is also dedicated to Maggie Smith, who brought Minerva McGonagall to fiery life and, at the same time, demonstrated her loving heart.

* * *

Nearly everyone at Hogwarts was trying to steer clear of the Transfiguration classroom, because Minerva McGonagall and Dolores Umbridge had been shouting at each other for the past half-hour. It had not been long after Harry Potter had come for his career consultation that the whole argument started, and after he had left that it raged on…

"You must be insane to think that!" Minerva cried. "Albus does not want the Minister's position; he never has! He would never leave Hogwarts!"

"That's just what he wants you think!" Umbridge shouted.

"You haven't changed a bit since school, have you, Dolores?" Minerva asked. "You're still the same whining, sniveling, spoiled brat I knew for seven years."

"And you're still the same know-it-all, goody-two-shoes Gryffindor," Umbridge spat. "But Transfiguration teacher _and _Deputy Headmistress? I should have known better. You always were Dumbledore's pet."

"His pet? You think I was his pet?" Minerva was stunned. "I never was his pet! I just had a talent for Transfiguration, that's all!"

"Not just him! Everyone liked you because you were the model student. You were beautiful, talented, intelligent, funny – you still are! How could I compete?"

Now Minerva was really astounded. _She hates me because she's jealous of me? _she thought. _Just because I was the best in our year at Transfiguration, she's still smarting? But why does she have to take it out on Harry? Unless she knows that I care for the boy as if he were my own grandson... _

"Look, we're getting a bit off the subject here," Minerva said, breaking the ice. "Why are you so against Harry Potter becoming an Auror? The boy certainly has the brains for the job, not to mention the talent and the nerve."

"Wake up and smell the firewhiskey, Minerva! I've never seen such a hot temper in a boy before!" Umbridge cried.

"Have you stopped to think about why he might have such a hot temper, Dolores?" Minerva asked heatedly.

"For Merlin's sake, Minerva, he has been coming into my classroom spreading these mad lies about You-Know-Who returning! I only did what was right by giving him a week's detention!"

"And just what has he been doing with you during these detentions, dare I ask?"

"Oh, nothing except some lines, Minerva."

Minerva suddenly glared at Umbridge, hatred burning in her blue eyes. _So that's what happened to Harry's hand! That dreadful quill of hers… _she forced a shudder back, remembering how Umbridge, then a prefect, used to torture the younger students by forcing them to write lines with her quill, carving the lines into the skin of their hands. _She's been forcing him to write lines with it, and he's carved the words into his skin every night! The poor lad, why didn't he tell me? Oh well, there's no time for tears now!_

"You've been slicing his hand open every night, haven't you?" Minerva said, her voice trembling with anger. "Lines, indeed!"

"I consider it a suitable punishment," Umbridge said sniffily. "He ought to be happy that I haven't given him worse."

"Worse!" Minerva yelled, her temper boiling over. "A suitable punishment! That's not suitable, that's inhuman! How could you even think about doing that to him – to any student, for that matter?"

"I am the High Inquisitor around here, Minerva McGonagall, and I ask the questions!" Umbridge snapped.

"Oh, shut up! I am so sick of all this 'High Inquisitor' nonsense! Ever since that blasted, stupid decree was passed, the teachers have not been able to teach properly without you breathing down their necks! If it had been allowed, I would have hexed you the instant you stepped into my classroom! Hogwarts has been a veritable hell ever since you first arrived, and the students are being tortured on a regular basis by your so-called Inquisitorial Squad! I have held my tongue up until now, and you had better sit down, shut up, and listen to every word I am about to say, Dolores Umbridge! As long as I am still Deputy Headmistress of this school, I am not going to tolerate you torturing my Gryffindors, Pomona Sprout's Hufflepuffs, or Filius Flitwick's Ravenclaws! If I ever hear about it again, Dolores; Headmistress or not, I swear on Godric Gryffindor's grave that you will live out the rest of your life as a frog in the lake!"

Umbridge had been stunned into silence while Minerva shouted herself hoarse, but spoke suddenly after the tirade was over. "A frog in the lake?" she asked in a whimper.

"Did I stammer?" Minerva snapped.

"If you did turn me into a frog, wouldn't the giant squid eat me?"

"If that happened, I'd pity the squid," Minerva said. "It would have a terrible stomachache."

Umbridge gulped, clearly terrified. Nevertheless, she managed to regain her sickly-sweet persona in a matter of seconds. "Even so, Minerva," she said in honeyed tones, "the Minister will not be pleased to hear about this."

"Go ahead and tell him! Though, I very highly doubt you'll be able to as a guinea pig," Minerva said slyly. "He'll merely think you a sweet little pet."

Umbridge yelped. "You wouldn't!"

"Try me," Minerva said, striding to the door and opening it. "I am the Transfiguration professor, after all." She pointed out of the open door. "Now get out of here!"

Umbridge didn't need telling twice. She bolted out of the room and flew down the corridor so fast, not even the Irish International Quidditch team could have caught her.

Minerva closed the door, strode over to her desk, and sank into her chair. She chuckled and said to herself, "That's something else that hasn't changed since school – she's still scared of me!"

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Whatcha think? I hope it's not too bad for my first Harry Potter story, and I hope I did Minerva justice! Please review and tell me what you think; I love feedback!


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